House Hoppers International: missing ugliest players, Hoppers win 17 to 12

Wednesday April 10, 2013

Reporting to you from “someplace warm.  A place where the beer flows like wine.  Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.”  I’m talkin’ bout a little place called Barcelona.  Special correspondent Andrew Kovacs gets the byline here, but for obvious reasons, I made some edits.

Take it away, Kovacs!

We won 17 to 12.  More importantly, BOTTOM LINE IS BACK!

oh boy

Quick summary:

“You should prob ask someone else how Ricky and I played since you know I won’t be objective.”

  • It was really hot… a record high for April 10th.  It had to be a 40 to 50 degree difference between this week and last week.
  • Jeremy F. did an excellent job motivating, sweating, and managing the team.  We played with a ghost out and STILL won.
  • We played with a ghost out and STILL won.  (Editor’s note: A ghost out is what happens when you only have two females batting in the lineup.  Any team without a third female must take an automatic out at the end of their 10-person rotation.  In related news, I feel hella guilty.  I’M SO SORRY EVERYBODY.)
  • [Kovacs] had double duty.  “I covered catcher when I pitched since we were one short but we had Justin throw us the ball back and one bitchy girl on the other team was arguing how unfair that was.  BITCH.
  • Justin (Editor’s note: Justin is the ump of the year.  BELIEVE THAT.) is a lot happier.  He thrives on sunshine.
  • Janiece wears the pants in the family.  She clearly out-hit Cheap to the point that when Alex finally showed up, we subbed him in for Cheap who did not hit a single ball past hers.  She was 3 for 4 to his 1 for 3.
  • The other team’s pitcher was bad.  [Kovacs] came up with the bases loaded, the best time to come up and hit, and I had to walk since it wasn’t even close.
  • Dubie’s friend (Editor’s note: Mike Muldoon, of Rock, Flag, and Eagle fame) came and hit a grand slam as insurance in the 6th inning.
  • All 3rd basemen has a ton of trouble.  Lots of errors. (Editor’s note: I don’t even know how to edit this.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN, KOVACS?)
  • Scialpi played a great CF/shortfield for us.
  • HOPPERS SOFTBALL – Stu batted before the ghost out.  One inning late in the game, he came up to bat with 2 outs, so he decided to keep running until he got out.  What we did not realize was that since Stu got out, we started the next inning with the ghost out.  Fortunately  for us it was the 7th inning and we didn’t need to bat again. But it was not a well-thought out strategy.  HOPPERS SOFTBALL!

The Hoppers next game against Translate This is set for Wednesday at 6:15pm on the Ellipse.  I will be flying in from Barca specifically for the game.  But it’s not about me.  It’s about Los Saltamontes.


I'm an imp. I’m the youngest and smallest in a loud Irish family, which taught me that I will be interrupted unless I make my points (a) entertaining, (b) brief, or (c) outrageous. Being correct is immaterial. This is very good training for writing columns. I am not easily moved or offended, but I am easily amused. I enjoy writing for myself as much as I enjoy writing for an audience. I have several screenplays that sit on a hard drive, and I just like knowing they’re there. I also love soccer, basketball, running marathons, and milk. Professionally, I manage projects, staff, clients, and operations at a UX show that does websites and applications. Before that, I conducted opinion research at a public affairs firm. And before that, I got my Master of Public Policy at the University of Southern California and B.A. from the University of Maryland. I have lived in Washington, D.C. since 2007.

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Posted in Softball

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